EPISODE FIFTY: Duoserg's Challenge

NENGO 327年12月3日 11:46 AM - 28 Days Until Culmination

As the Human party members watched from the cooled ledge above, THRAX, Elric, Jarsar, Xaklafor, Veiko and Vash took their positions at the edge of the pool of water in the bottom of the chamber, and prepared for the start of the challenge. As word spread about the event, the chamber began to fill with other dragon spectators. The scene became reminiscent of the Dragon Trials from Episodes 28-30.

Duoserg: "You six have chosen to accept the challenge to cross the Gates of Hell. As I stated in the previous episode, you must first cross that pool of water in front of you, then pass the logic test, and finally defeat the guardian spirits before you will be able to cross. To guide you through all of the above, here's your guide, Kyrq-Phaug."

Another dragon steps up to the opposite side of the pool and grabs a microphone.

Kyrq-Phaug: "Your first challenge will be to cross this pool..."

THRAX: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've heard that a million times already! Let's get to it!"

Kyrq-Phaug: "Not so fast! First you must be aware that this is no ordinary pool of water. This is magic water that will cancel out your elemental powers, including Fire Element, if you come in contact with it. Also, living in this water are Aquatic Dragonettis that will consume you if you fall into it. Now, before you are pieces of hemp rope and a bunch of 2x4's. You must use these items, and only these items, to cross this pool. Those who manage to survive this challenge without losing your elemental powers or getting eaten will move on to the Logic Tests. Are you ready?"

Jarsar: "Uh, I have a question..."

Kyrq-Phaug: (sighs) "what is it?"

Jarsar: "Why couldn't we just fly over this pool, and save a shitload of effort?"

Upon closer inspection, the ominous pool of water appears no bigger than a small creek, seemingly very simple to cross. This has everyone who is watching scratching their heads in curiosity.

Kyrq-Phaug: "Okay, smart-ass! Why not give it a shot?"

Jarsar harnesses his wind powers and attemts to fly over the pool. As he was floating toward the center, he became smaller and smaller.

Adeth: "Woah! I'm really trippin', dude!"

TRITHAL: "Me too! Kuta, what the fuck is in this Red Crystal?"

Danika: "You're not tripping. He is indeed shrinking into that pool."

Adeth: "Is that what he's doing? (looks down at pool) Oh, you mean that guy. I'm looking over there at those weird flames coming out of that hole in the wall! It looks like a bunch of weird-looking floating monsters and shit!"

TRITHAL looks closely at the flaming hole in the wall at the other side of the chamber, and after his nearsighted eyes focused on it enough, he could see what Adeth was talking about.

TRITHAL: "Ah. Those must be the guardian spirits of the Gates of Hell that Duoserg was referring to earlier. But still, Kuta, what is in this crystal? I'm feeling all tired and sluggish... as if I'm high but without the euphoria."

Kuta: "It's as I said in the last episode. The energy barrier surrounding you that's being created by that now-purple crystal is keeping your Macha symbiont in your body, but is also suppressing your spiritual and elemental powers. That, combined with the fact that you're a lazy slob, is arresting your powers. Either deal with it, or have your spirit torn apart by the Shoukanjou."

THRAX: "Hey fuckers!! This episode is supposed to be centered around us down here!! YOU had the last episode!"

TRITHAL: "Whatever."

Meanwhile, Jarsar kept flying across the pond, seeing nothing but fog ahead and more water below. After probably a half hour, stopped and said, "What the fuck?" then turned back toward shore... where he arrived 30 seconds later.

Xaklafor: "What happened?"

Jarsar: "That's the weirdest thing!!! It looked like I was flying way out over an ocean, yet when I turned around and came back, it's as if I wasn't but a kilometer off-shore!"

Kyrq-Phaug: "As you can see, this pond is magical. One cannot cross it directly. One must figure out the secret to the spell before they can reach the other side."

Jarsar: "Well, shit!"

Ironically enough, the phrase 'well shit' is phonetically similar to some phrase in a draconian language that caused six Aquatic Dragonettis to jump out of the pool and confront the party.

BATTLE MODE ON

THRAX (LV 34 HELL-FIRE; 109/109 HP; 164/164 SP; 12907 EXP)
Elric (LV 31 LIGHTENING WIZARD; 115/115 HP; 262/262 SP; 8901 EXP)
Jarsar (LV 44 WIND; 152/1152 HP; 207/207 SP; 13244 EXP)
Xaklafor (LV 62 AQUATIC WAVE; 236/239 HP; 425/425 SP; 26987 EXP)
Veiko (LV 37 GRYNAK CAPTAIN; 124/124 HP; 91/91 SP; 9899 EXP)
Vash (LV 34 GRYNAK CAPTAIN; 109/109 HP; 77/77 SP; 8656 EXP)

Aquatic Dragonetti #1: "HARK! You have awakened the Dragonettis who say... 'NI!'"

The Dragonetti who said 'NI!' released some sort of a shockwave pulse that echoed and bounced throughout the chamber, and the above-listed party members in BATTLE MODE lose 1 HP each.

Dragon spectators in chamber (surprised, in unison): "The Dragonettis who say 'NI!'!"

Human spectators on cooled ledge above chamber (confused, in unison) "The Dragonettis who say 'NI!'?"

Xaxlafor (knowingly, to himself): "The Dragonettis who say 'NI!'."

Aquatic Dragonetti #1: "Yes, the Dragonettis who say 'NI!'."

This triggers another shock wave pulse, and each participating party member loses another 1 HP.

THRAX: "What the fuck is this?"

Evil Ray: "It's a Monty Python reference."

THRAX: "I can see this.  But why put it here?  It's just plain silly!"

Evil Ray: "Well, we've been stuck at this spot for the last 5 years, and I've been renting Monty Python movies on Netflix.  Besides, Jeremiah lost interest long ago, and Jeremy hasn't even been trying to come up with anything to move us past this spot."

Jeremy: "Hey! I did script a battle for this scene!'

Evil Ray: "Yeah, but you used characters that weren't even here, and you pretty much skipped right over the foreplay and went straight to the climax.  There's more to life than carnal pleasures!  Take some time to explore other possibilities, to 'smell the roses' as it were."

TRITHAL (from ledge above): "HEY EVIL RAY!  I thought I told you to stay out of this volume!"

Evil Ray reaches into pocket, pulls out smart phone-type device and aims it at TRITHAL, as if threatening to delete him again.  In response, TRITHAL backs away.

Aquatic Dragonetti #1: "Could we continue here?  You all are crashing the whole scene!"

THRAX: "Sorry.  Carry on..."

Aquatic Dragonetti #1: "As I was saying, we are the Dragonettis who say---"

Everybody: "'NI!'?"

Aquatic Dragonetti #1: "Y-es.  You have awakened us from our magical pond nap, and therefore we must kill you!"

Elric : "But, we need to cross this magical pond and get to the gates of hell!  It's really important!"

Aquatic Dragonetti #1: "I see.  Wait right here..."

The Aquatic Dragonetti who has been addressing the party this whole time turns to confer with the 5 other Aquatic Dragonettis.  After about a minute, the lead Dragonetti turns back to the party.

Aquatic Dragonetti #1: "We have decided that we shall let you pass... but first you must build us... a HYDROPONIC GARDEN!!"

(Jarring chord plays in background)

THRAX (rolls eyes): "Seriously?  Are we gonna copy this whole scene from The Holy Grail?"

Evil Ray: "Yes. now shut up!"

Veiko: "What the hell are we gonna build a hydroponic garden out of?  We're a mile deep in a cave!"

Kyrq-Phaug:  "Jesus Fucking Christ, you idiots have a short memory!!  See that pile of 2x4's and that coil of hemp rope on the ground there at your feet?"

The battling party members look down and go "Oh yeah!"

Kyrq-Phaug: "Use that stuff to make a HYDROPONIC GARDEN!!"

(another jarring chord plays)

THRAX: "Eau-kay.  How do we do that?"

Kyrq-Phaug: "That's the challenge, dumbass!  You're supposed to figure that out yourself!!



=============================================================

(NOTE:  This is where we left off.  At this point we could really use Jeremiah's input, since he wrote most of the battle scenes in Volume 1, but he seems uninterested in taking up this project again.  Jeremy can't seem to stay focused enough to keep a job... let alone contribute to a creative writing project.  As for me, I've been too busy working my ass off driving trucks and such.  I guess until the muse comes upon one of us, we'll be stuck right here indefinitely.  Oh well... it's not like anyone's even reading this right now anyway!)

EPISODE FORTY-NINE: The Gates of Hell

NENGO 327年12月3日 8:11 AM - 28 Days Until Culmination

The party awakens to loud footsteps and angry murmuring, accompanied with the faint smell of dragon shit coming down the passageway past the cove where they were camped out. They find their adolescent guide absent, guessing that he must have gone on ahead.

The party decides that there is no point wasting time, so they get up and make their way down the tunnel toward the Gates of Hell. As they proceed they sense the temperature rising. THRAX guesses this means they're getting closer.

After about an hour and a half of walking, the party arrives in a huge chamber. In this chamber are probably about 20 dragons, various objects, a pool of water, and at the opposite end is a flaming hole in the wall where the now-immense heat seems to be coming from.

Next to the hole stands a very tall, very old dragon who is being approached by the pair of dragons that hurried past the party earlier.

dragon 1: "Duoserg, your snot-nosed great-grandson shat in our tunnel yesterday!"

dragon 2: "And I stepped in it!"

Dragon 2 shows Duoserg the excrement stuck to his right foot.

Duoserg (in raspy voice): "Is that so? Would you like a moist towelette or something?"

dragon 2: "No, we want to kick his queefy little ass! Where is he?!"

Duoserg: "But, wouldn't you get more shit on your foot if you kicked his ass?"

Growing irritated, the first dragon retorts "Are you wanting to pick a fight with the Visugori, old man?"

In response, some of the other dragons in the chamber take stances around Duoserg.

Duoserg: "Don't be ridiculous!! The Visugori are too weak and few in number to take on the Mai Famdamli. Your group of vagrants couldn't knock a hole in a wall! Do yourselves a favor and take a walk!"

The two Visugori see that they are quite outnumbered, so they turn and leave. As they make their way out of the chamber, the first dragon turns back and says "Lord Vankar will hear of this!" As they exit the scene, they fail to notice the party standing nearby.

Duoserg (to another dragon): "Where is Beosurg?"

other dragon: "I don't know m'lord. I don't think he's returned from the quartz mine yet."

Duoserg: "When he does return, send him to me. It's not polite to be defecating in tunnels. That's why we dig holes in the ground."

As stated earlier, the inside of the chamber is quite hot, except for the corner where the party is standing. Since THRAX and the other draconians, Elric, Jarsar, Xaklafor, Veiko and Vash are virtually unaffected by the excess heat, the group of them approach Duoserg.

TRHAX: "Uh, excuse me, Duoserg..."

Duoserg stoops down to take a good look at THRAX, studying the patches of human flesh and dragon scales that make up his skin.

Duoserg: "Hmm. What manner of being are you, young one? You look like some hideous science experiment or something."

THRAX: "Y-eah... My name is Thrax the Hell-Fire, and I've come to retrieve the Phoenix and Kaiser Dragon Crystals from beyond the Gates of Hell."

Duoserg: "Have you, now? How droll. (chuckles) Go back and inform Vankar he's wasting his time. There's no way he can locate the Dragon Crystals without--"

THRAX: "The Dark Flare?"

THRAX withdraws his Dragon Sabre with the Dark Flare fused in it and holds it up. Duoserg gives a look of astonishment.

THRAX: "By the way, I'm not working for Vankar. In fact, me and my party back there are trying to stop him from building his weapon. That's why we've come here to retrieve the crystals."

Duoserg: "Hmm... Tell me, young one... How did you manage to come across the Dark Flare? Furthermore, how did you know the Phoenix and Kaiser were located beyond the gates? The only way one could know is if they were descendant of Xanthur, and that line has been extinct for centuries."

THRAX: "Not necessarily. Xanatos, the last descendant of Xanthur, disappeared into the human world some years ago. While there he underwent a magic spell that changed him into a young human named Thrax, which happens to be me."

Duoserg: "Hmm. I see... Well, then if you are indeed Xanatos as you say, then you should remember that in order to cross the Gates of Hell you must first submit yourself to certain physical and mental challenges."

THRAX: "Well, we're kinda in a hurry, so can we get around that or something?"

The other Mai Famdamli laugh at THRAX's preposterous statement.

Duoserg: "There's no 'going around' the challenges. In order to cross the gates, you first have to prove your worthiness! (points to the 5 draconians in the party) It's a good thing you brought friends. You'll need all the help you can get!"

Realizing that once again he'll have to make an ass of himself to proceed forward, THRAX asks, "OK, what are the challenges?"

Duoserg: "You must first cross this pool of water here and survive, then you must pass the logic test. If you make it that far, then you'll have to defeat the Guardian Spirits that keep the gate sealed. THEN, if you can make it through the gates, it's at least a day's journey through the Hell Fire Pit before you get to the Crystals... if you can find them! So then, Thrax the Hell-Fire, do you accept this challenge?"

ACCEPT CHALLENGE?
-YES-
-NO-

THRAX (shrugs): "Well if this is the only way to get through the gates, then I guess I have to."

ACCEPT CHALLENGE?
+YES+
-NO-

Duoserg: "Very well. Go and prepare for the challenge."

THRAX and the 5 draconians make their way to the area where they prepare to take on the forthcoming challenge to cross the Gates of Hell. Meanwhile, the human members of the party are starting to feel the effects of the immense heat of the chamber. An older female dragon approaches the human party members.

female dragon: "You must be accompanying Mr Thrax over there. It's not safe for humans to be this close to the hell-fire pit. Let me take you to a more-habitable spot."

The female dragon leads TRITHAL, AXEM, Danika, Anri, Adeth and Kuta to a ledge at the edge of the chamber, where there is a vent to the outside. From this ledge, the party has a bird's eye view of the area where THRAX and the others will take on the challenge to enter the gates. The female dragon reaches up above the party and opens the vents to the outside, allowing the chilly, snowy air from the mountains to blow in. Immediately, a blue field of energy tries to escape from TRITHAL.

TRITHAL tries to boost his energy while chanting something in the Macha language, trying to keep his Macha symbiont from escaping his body. Kuta rushes over to TRITHAL, withdraws a Red Crystal, and creates a red energy barrier around TRITHAL to contain his fleeing spirit. Kuta also tries his Macha power to get Macha-Rei to remain in TRITHAL, but also has no luck.

With the majority of his own energy focused on maintaining the barrier, Kuta calls out to Danika, "Danika, I need your help!"

Danika hurries over and says, "What do I do?"

Kuta: "Take his hand and talk to him in Kureganese. Tell him to pull back the symbiont."

Danika walks over and takes TRITHAL's left hand, and speaks to him in Kureganese as Kuta instructed. Gradually, the blue energy trying to escape TRITHAL is reabsorbed. Once TRITHAL became conscious again, Kuta instructs him to take the Red Crystal and feed it with his own power. TRITHAL does so, turning the crystal and the barrier purple.

Kuta: "That should keep your symbiont from escaping, but it will also inhibit your wind and spirit powers." (to female dragon) "How close are we to Okremafort?"

female dragon: "Probably a 3-day hike over those mountains... but less than a day via the old underground rail tunnels."

Kuta: "The shoukanjou is becoming stronger. I feel it, too." (to TRITHAL): "Mugen, you'll have to make sure that barrier remains strong, or else your Macha symbiont will escape your body."

TRITHAL (voice muffled by the energy barrier): "No joke! That's way too strong of a pull for it to be a normal shoukanjou! Vankar must be using the third Amplification crystal to boost it or something!"

AXEM (to female dragon): "Tell us about the underground rail tunnels you mentioned. Do they go all the way from here to Okremafort?"

female dragon: "Yes, they do... if they're still intact between here and there. Hundreds of years ago, before the Nengo wars, Okreman Territory was developing into quite a modern society. But, after the wars started, the tunnels were never finished. There might still be some working equipment down there. If you're heading to Okremafort, that might be the fastest way to get there."

AXEM: "Yee! We might have to go check that out as soon as THRAX gets the dragon crystals from beyond the gates!"

By this point, THRAX, Elric, Jarsar, Xaklafor, Veiko and Vash are ready to begin the challenge.

EPISODE FORTY-EIGHT: The Dark Labyrinth

(CHAPTER FIVE: The Underworld)

NENGO 327年12月2日 10:17 PM - 29 Days Until Culmination

Once through the gate and inside the labyrinth, TRITHAL utilizes his supreme sense of direction and the party heads towards the assumed location of the Gates of Hell. After about 20 minutes of walking in the direction that resembles forward, they come across a 3-way fork in the tunnel. Someone will need to make a decision...

AXEM pulls out his cellphone and tries to use his GPS, but cannot because they are under a mile of magnetic rock, and the GPS signals are impenetrable.

AXEM: "Damn it! This phone cost me 200 GP! You'd think for a phone this expensive it would work in impossible conditions such as these!"

THRAX: "Hey Trithal! Wanna try that vocal-acoustic thing we usually use in this kind of situation?"

TRITHAL: "I don't know... your voice has dramatically changed since you ingested that poison back in Episode 42. Do you think you can still produce the necessary wavelength?

THRAX faces down one of the tubes and attempts to use his SONIC VOICE. Instead of a steady wave of sounds resonating down the tunnel, a loud, death-metal style of belch emitted, and part of the tunnel collapsed.

Anri: "Well that was just pointless."

AXEM: "Well damn! What the hell do we do now?"

TRITHAL: "I guess I need to do this by myself. Fuck!"

Over the course of about 45 minutes, TRITHAL stands in front of each tunnel, emits 20 second bursts of SONIC VOICE, and listens intently. From the middle tunnel, TRITHAL hears something that makes him slightly lose balance, but he soon regains his composure and continues.

After he was done with the whole process, TRITHAL says, "Well, I think the one we needed to take was the one THRAX just collapsed."

In response, everyone accosts THRAX for fucking things up.

THRAX: "Sorry! I was TRYING to be helpful!"

Danika: "Well, quit TRYING to be helpful and just HELP already!"

Kuta: "Well, there's no sense crying over spilt milk. Let's just try and make the best of it."

Adeth: "Hey, Sensai. What's down that middle tunnel that got you so disoriented?"

TRITHAL: "Let's just say it would be a good idea to NOT go down that one."

So the party proceeds down the tunnel and attempts to clear away the fallen rock from their path, just enough to they can get through. As they were clearing rocks away, they hear a faint voice in the distance.

faint voice in the distance: "Hey! Is anyone there?"

Adeth: "I don't think so... Which 'there' are you referring to?"

faint voice in the distance: "The one that's on the other side of these rocks that just mysteriously collapsed with a belch."

Adeth: "In that case, I guess we're here."

faint voice in the distance: "Well hey! I'm stuck over here! Can you help dig me out?"

THRAX: "That depends... will you shut up for 5 minutes so we can concentrate on digging you out?"

faint voice in the distance: "Yeah, I guess...."

The party resumes digging--

faint voice in the distance: "Hey! Are you guys Visugori?"

AXEM: "Uh, I don't know. What's a Visugori?"

TRITHAL: "Sounds like some kind of mixed drink."

AXEM: "Well, I am full of alcohol, but I don't think that makes me a mixed drink."

THRAX: "Hey! I said shut up! The more you talk the longer it's gonna take to dig you out!"

faint voice in distance: "Sorry, carry on!"

The party resumes digging agai--

faint voice in distance: "Are you guys done yet? I gotta take a crap!"

everyone: "NO!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

After some increment of time, the party finally clears a hole big enough for people to walk through. On the other side of the collapse they find what appears to be a young adolescent draconian.

AXEM: "SHIT! WHAT A QUEEF!!"

TRITHAL: "You seem to be saying that alot lately.... Are you into little boys?"

AXEM: "Well just like a pussy fart, they're equally as useless."

TRITHAL: "Whatever."

Just then, the young draconian takes off down the tunnel, pinching his sphinxter shut with his fingers, muttering "Gotta crap! Gotta crap!" He runs in a very awkward-looking way, as someone who was holding their ass shut and running at the same time would look.

Danika: "Hey! Maybe if we follow him he'll lead us to where the gates are!"

Anri: "Either that or shit on us!"

The party decides to follow the poor kid in excretory distress as he darted down the tunnels with his fingers in his crack. After about an hour of almost non-stop running, the kid stops at another fork in the tunnel then hops around in place while looking down each tunnel. A second later the party catches up.

Kuta: "Hey! We're looking for a Mr. Duoserg at the Gates of Hell. Do you know where that is?"

With his mind distracted with the impending bowel movement, the kid says, "Yeah, uh, wait here." then darts down one of the tunnels.

About 20 minutes later, the kid returns, followed closely by the odor of post-digested plant life. The party members hold their nose in disgust.

kid: "I'd recommend staying away from down there for the next 35 to 45 minutes."

ghost of Chris: "Top THAT!!"

TRITHAL (holding his nose): "Holy SHIT!! What the hell?!? Did you have to do that in an enclosed tunnel?"

Danika: "There ain't nothing 'holy' about that shit!"

At that point, Anri finds another tunnel and throws up."

Kuta: "So do you know the way to the gates of hell?"

Kid: "Yeah, but that lady just puked in the tunnel that goes there!"

AXEM: "Yeah, but you shit down that tunnel!"

Kid: "That's okay, that's the way to the Visugori camp. They can walk in shit!"

The party decides to distance itself from the grossness of the excrement, side-steps Anri's chunks and makes their way down the tunnel. As they make their way down, the kid tells the party that the Gates of Hell are about nine hours ahead. The party is already exhausted from the whole ordeal with Smaug that they decide to make camp in a small cutout of the tunnel and continue on in the morning.

EPISODE FORTY-SEVEN: Speak foe and enter.

NENGO 327年12月2日 6:37 PM - 29 Days Until Culmination

After many hours of searching, the party manages to locate all the missing pieces of the statue. Here is a rundown of their stats:

TRITHAL (LV 32 DIVINE WIND; 131/131 HP; 128/128 SP; 11484 EXP)
AXEM (LV 30 STONE PILLAR; 113/113 HP; 110/110 SP; 10033 EXP)
THRAX (LV 34 HELL-FIRE; 109/109 HP; 164/164 SP; 12907 EXP)
Danika (LV 33 FOREST NINJA, CLASS III; 112/112 HP; 110/110 SP; 9801 EXP)
Anri (LV 32 ICE FLAME; 107/107 HP; 106/106 SP; 10955 EXP)
Adeth (LV 26 PALADIN; 80/80 HP; 58/58 SP; 5156 EXP)
Kuta (LV 35 RED CRYSTAL; 110/110 HP; 118/118 SP; 11722 EXP)
Elric (LV 31 LIGHTENING WIZARD; 115/115 HP; 262/262 SP; 8901 EXP)
Jarsar (LV 44 WIND; 152/1152 HP; 207/207 SP; 13244 EXP)
Xaklafor (LV 62 AQUATIC WAVE; 236/239 HP; 425/425 SP; 26987 EXP)
Veiko (LV 37 GRYNAK CAPTAIN; 124/124 HP; 91/91 SP; 9899 EXP)
Vash (LV 34 GRYNAK CAPTAIN; 109/109 HP; 77/77 SP; 8656 EXP)

For the past hour, while everyone was recovering from their injuries and restoring their lost HP and SP, the party has been staring at the odd silver pieces trying to figure out how they go together. Now that the sun is setting and daylight is almost gone, the most-disciplined minds of the party take to the task of figuring out the puzzle.

TRITHAL: "Okay... this has got to fit together somehow."

Danika: "Yeah, but how? None of these pieces make any sense at all!"

Kuta: "Well, let's start by finding the base of the statue. It should be the one with the biggest flat side."

Once the base of the statue was finally located and fitted into place, the rest of the party joined in and helped with the assembly. About 2 hours passed, and some torches were found to provide light. Once the statue was complete, the party stood back in awe...

Anri: "Wow..."

Elric: "Holy shit!!"

Adeth: "Woah! This is like, the most trippy thing I've seen in more than 400 years!"

AXEM: "What is it?"

THRAX: "It looks like Jesus... smoking from a huge bong!"

everyone: "woah...."

Kuta: "Okay then, now that we have this thing put together, how do we open the entrance to the labyrinth?"

TRITHAL: "Where the hell is Smaug?"

THRAX: "I don't know but, he better show himself soon. We don't have time to bullshit around."

Soon afterward, the echoing voice of the stealthy dragon could be heard in the darkness, bouncing off of the walls and buildings surrounding the party. A'la the same method from Episode 44, TRITHAL stands in the middle of the area with his eyes glowing blue... then he raises his right hand straight up into the air... then about 3 1/2 seconds later he clenches his hand shut, then Smaug materializes in mid-air with TRITHAL's hand around his neck. After Smaug stops squirming, TRITHAL body-slams him on the ground.

Smaug: "Ouch, you fucker of mothers!"

THRAX: "Ok, Smaug. We have this statue put together. How are we supposed to open the entrance to the labyrinth?"

Smaug: "Oh, excellent! Finally reassembled the statue is. Now, what's this you speak about an entrance to the labyrinth?"

AXEM: "It's the whole reason why we came all the way out here and put this stupid thing together! We need to get to the gates of hell, and you have an entrance to the labyrinth that will take us there!

Smaug: "Ah, well.... uh.... the entrance? An entrance there is.... but... how to open it I remember not."

everyone: "eauWHAA???"

THRAX: "Then why the hell did you have us spend all this time on this statue?! We're on a time schedule here! We don't have time to waste on stupid bullshit like this!"

Smaug: "Never said did I, that the statue would open the entrance. Looking for entertainment, I was. A prized family heirloom this statue is. Scattered throughout the grounds the pieces were, and by myself I could not find them all. Fun it was to watch you battle the demons and find the pieces."

TRITHAL: "Shit! Isn't there anything 'entertaining' in Okreman territory besides us? You people need DirecTV!"

Kuta: "Fine. You've had your fun. Now, do you know how to open the entrance or not?"

Smaug: "Uhh..... Almost 200 years has passed since last it was opened. A mantra and crystal, the one who opened it used."

THRAX: "Do you remember who it was, or the crystal that was used?"

Smaug: "Sworn to secrecy I was. Tell you I cannot."

TRITHAL: "Fuck this bullshit!"

TRITHAL walks through the darkness with a torch to the sealed entrance and studies the markings engraved on it. His eyes glowed blue as he studied the seal. Eventually he turned and called out to THRAX.

TRITHAL: "Hey goat-piss! Come here and look at this."

THRAX walks over to where TRITHAL is standing, by the sealed entrance to the labyrinth. TRITHAL points at a line Draconian characters carved into the stone and instructs THRAX to read it. THRAX holds up his torch and studies it, and stumbles through translating it to English:

THRAX: "Uh.... 'This entrance sealed by the bloodline of Xanthur. May those who defy it be called dumb-shits and be sodomized by gorillas.'"

A light chuckle erupted among the party after THRAX roughly translated the carvings. TRITHAL then instructs THRAX to read the carvings in the Draconian language.

THRAX: "Uh, 'Xanthurias Draconis Infernus--'"

As THRAX was reading the inscription, his amulet began to glow bright red accompanied with a sudden loud rumbling. The ground began to shake as the stone gateway into the Dark Labrynth started to crack and crumble to the ground. Once the seal was in pieces on the ground and the entrance was open, the remnants of the seal reassembled to form a Stone Dragon.

dragon: "THE SEAL OF XANTHUR HAS BEEN DISTURBED! PREPARE TO BE PUNISHED!"

Huge flames and various minions flow out of the now-open gateway and take battle stances in front of the Stone Dragon. The party likewise assumes their battle stances. Smaug has the look of utter shock and surprise on his face as he watches the battle unfold.

BATTLE MODE ON

TRITHAL (LV 32; 131/131 HP; 128/128 SP; 11484 EXP)
AXEM (LV 30; 113/113 HP; 110/110 SP; 10033 EXP)
THRAX (LV 34; 109/109 HP; 164/164 SP; 12907 EXP)
Danika (LV 33; 112/112 HP; 110/110 SP; 9801 EXP)
Anri (LV 32; 107/107 HP; 106/106 SP; 10955 EXP)
Adeth (LV 26; 80/80 HP; 58/58 SP; 5156 EXP)
Kuta (LV 35; 110/110 HP; 118/118 SP; 11722 EXP)
Elric (LV 31; 115/115 HP; 262/262 SP; 8901 EXP)
Jarsar (LV 44; 152/1152 HP; 207/207 SP; 13244 EXP)
Xaklafor (LV 62; 236/239 HP; 425/425 SP; 26987 EXP)
Veiko (LV 37; 124/124 HP; 91/91 SP; 9899 EXP)
Vash (LV 34; 109/109 HP; 77/77 SP; 8656 EXP)

As the party prepares to attack, THRAX turns to Smaug and says, "When this is over, I'm painting this stupid Jesus statue with your blood!"

Smaug begins to duck away into the shadows, as the Boss Fight ensues...

The Stone Dragon gets the first move and casts 'Stone Shower' All members lose 22 HP, except AXEM, who just stands there and laughs.

TRITHAL does a wind attack that rips off a popular copyrighted Anime series. The dragon minions are destroyed. No damage to Stone Dragon.

THRAX uses the Draconian Aura Crystal. His auric energy is enhanced until it takes on it's own physical form. The aura, a dragon that kinda looks like Thrax, begins an all-out assault on the Stone Dragon. THRAX uses 84 SP. Stone Dragon loses 946/3800 HP.

THRAX: "That's it?! I was hoping for an instant kill. Damn it!"

TRITHAL: "What the hell did you expect? Your draconian powers haven't been fully restored yet, and you only have the vaguest idea how to use that damn thing!"

THRAX: "....damn..."

It's now Danika's turn. She recites the Incantation of the Forest Gods. Suddenly, the barren rocky terrain is replaced by a dense forest. Several forest-dwelling spirits spring forth and attempt a melee attack on Stone Dragon. She uses 56 SP. Stone Dragon loses 1826/2854 HP.

AXEM: "Oh, hell YEAH!!"

THRAX: "Shut the hell up. You're even more useless in this fight than I am!"

AXEM runs off and calls his brother on his cell to complain about what bitches his party-mates are.

BATTLE MODE OFF: AXEM

Anri casts deep freeze. Stone Dragon is now a pile of froze boulders. No damage to Stone Dragon. Anri uses 18 SP.

Kuta uses RED CRYSTAL. Red energy radiates out of Kuta's body and is then projected to the dragon. The energy surrounds stone dragon and the enemy shatters.

BATTLE MODE OFF

All members gain 831 EXP except AXEM who only gets 12 for being the new 'Wet Blanket'

Smaug (to THRAX): "What manner of person are you? Only a descendant of Xanthur may open this entrance!"

THRAX: "Then I guess it's a lucky thing that Xanthur was my father."

Smaug: "Then, Xanatos you are?"

THRAX: "What if I am?"

Smaug immediately drops to the prostrate position and says, "Please forgive my insolence, my lord! Recognize you I did not!"

Anri: "So then you knew all along how this gate was supposed to open, and you were dicking us around this whole time?"

Smaug begins to squirm where he is knelt, as the party slowly gathers around him. THRAX picks him up, and stuffs his long, flexible dragon body down the shaft of the huge bong in the statue, leaving his head in the globe and his ass sticking in Jesus's face. After the brutal stuffing, flames erupt out of Smaug's nose and through the stem of the bong as he attempts to curse in the Draconian language, but is muffled by the tight quarters.

After sharing a chuckle over the scene, the party enters the portal into the Labyrinth.

AXEM: "Yeah, Trithal, you would know how to put a bong together. You're a master of the bong shit."

TRITHAL: "Yeah... so on that same thread of ideas, you would be the master of being a demi-god on the guitar, while at the same time being an embarrassing whiny bitch!"

THRAX: "And I would be the master of fucking hot, young, possibly underage girls like that one noticibly older chick on the previous season of 'Are you smarter than a fifth-grader'."

Anri: "Would you people shut up?! This is worse than when everyone was talking about my titties and freezing a guy's lips off."

Danika: "Aww, but that was so fu-u-nny. Your cold nature does bad things to guys. Remember when you froze that guys dick off?"

The party disappears into the darkness of the Labyrinth, as we see Smaug working his way out of the bong and onto the ground. He is heard muttering something unintelligible as the scene fades to black.

(END CHAPTER FOUR)

EPISODE FORTY-SIX: Escalating concerns

NENGO 327年12月2日 4:37 PM - 29 Days Until Culmination

The party continues on their quest to gather the pieces of the statue.

MEANWHILE in Okremafort, in some room that looks like either a temple, or some high-up throne room, Vankar is seen knelt before a throne with a shadowy figure sitting with is face shrouded in darkness.

Vankar: "Master, our plans are proceeding just as you predicted they would. Chaos and upheaval are taking hold in the Human world, and the search for the lost Dragon Crystals is well underway."

master: "Excellent. How soon do you expect the remaining crystals to be collected?"

Vankar: "Very soon, Master. The operative I've dispatched last reported in two weeks ago. He reported collecting the Frost Drake, and was en-route to the Fire Drake. He was heading to some very remote locations, so it's possible he cannot find any means to communicate with us."

master: "I see. And, what of my invited guests?"

Vankar: "So far we've received no replies to our invitations. Forgive me, master, but I don't fully understand your reasoning for calling the Macha here. What purpose are they to serve?"

master: "Try not to concern yourself with what you don't control, Vankar. My reasoning will become clear soon.... very soon, in fact."

Not really satisfied, but knowing it to be pointless to question it further, Vankar responds "Of course, master."

master: "And what of the next phase of our operation in the human world?"

Vankar: "Earlier today I heard from our officer-in-charge in Sabretooth, and he says they are ready to move on your order."

master: "Good. Have them begin immediately."

Vankar: "Yes, master."

Just as Vankar said this, outside the chamber was the sound of someone running and screaming "LORD VANKAR!!". The voices of the guards at the door, while indistinct, questioned the person, then a minute later one of the guards enters the chamber.

Guard: "Please forgive the interruption, My Lord, but Lieutenant Kokichi is outside with an urgent matter to report to you."

Vankar looks back to the person sitting in the shadows, who nods at him signaling that he's excused. Vankar then stands up, bows to the shadowy figure, then turns and leaves the room. Outside, Kokichi stands in a cold sweat, fearing the repercussions of his bad news.

Vankar: "Kokichi, what matter is so urgent that I am interrupted like this?"

Kokichi (scared, nervous): "Lord Vankar, sir... I regret to inform you that I have failed in my mission. My unit has been wiped out, and the Dragon Crystals have been stolen from me."

Vankar, with a stone-like expressionless look on his face, says "Who has done this?"

Kokichi: "Well, you see, I'm not sure who, or what, they were...."

Vankar, now noticeably pissed, grabs Kokichi by his robe, picks him up and says in a quite fierce voice, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!"

Kokichi, nearly pissing himself, responds "Well, it was a group consisting of Draconians and Humans... or at least they appeared to be human. They were extremely powerful, and one of them even morphed into a Draconian!"

Finding interest in Kokichi's rambling, Vankar sets him down, then in a more-calm voice says, "Continue..."

Kokichi: "It was at the village of Neglaford to the south of here. The village is occupied by the Dralani-Grynak tribe that was controlled by Lord Janxion of Xanthur until recently--"

Vankar: "What happened to Janxion of Xanthur?"

Kokichi: "The human who later morphed into a dragon, whom I think called himself Thrax or something like that, claimed to had killed Janxion and taken the FireDrake from him. This Thrax fellow indeed has the FireDrake. I saw it with my own eyes."

Vankar: "And then...?"

Kokichi: "Then the whole group of them engaged us in battle. They were far more powerful than Humans are supposed to be. One of them, whose eyes were piercing blue, was able to probe my mind and find out about your plans for the great weapon."

Vankar: "Who was this human who was able to read your mind?"

Kokichi: "I didn't catch his name... although the blue tattoos on his face are similar to the markings on your left arm."

Vankar: "And so, you've lost all the Dragon Crystals you were sent to find, and you leaked sensitive information to a group of HUMANS???? AND YOU LET THEM GET AWAY?!"

Kokichi: (shaking, stuttering) "I-I was overpowered, s-sir! They d-defeated my whole unit!"

Vankar (very pissed): "AND YOU HAD THE GAUL TO SHOW YOUR MISERABLE SELF IN MY COURT AFTER SUCH A HUMILIATING DEFEAT?!?" (to two of the guards): "Take him away. Show the other soldiers how we deal with failure."

The guards grab Kokichi by the arms and drag him out of the room as he kicks and screams. After they leave the chamber, the sounds of Kokichi screaming continued as machinery creaked ominously, then eventually a loud snapping noise was heard paired with Kokichi's screams coming to an abrupt halt with a squishing sound.

Immediately afterward, Vankar turned to the senior guard on his left and said, "Summon General Rajender to my chambers at once."

The guard nodded, then left the room.

Ten minutes later, a Myrmadon General enters Vankar's chambers, where Vankar is pacing back and forth in frustration.

Rajender: "You sent for me, My Lord?"

Vankar: "I should have known better than to send that sniveling wimp after the Dragon crystals, brother-in-law or not."

Rajender: "I assume you're referring to Lieutenant Kokichi..."

Vankar: "There's only 28 days left until our deadline. We need those crystals now, so that the final preparations will be in place at the appointed time. Rajender, I need you to send your most-trusted solders South to the village of Neglaford, and find these 'humans' who took the crystals from Kokichi. I also need the other crystals located quickly. I want every soldier you can spare scouring the lands for them. Follow any lead you can find. Do not let anyone rest until the Crystals are all accounted for."

Rajender: "Yes, My Lord!"

The general left the chamber, while Vankar reaches in his desk and withdraws an unusual-looking pipe and takes a hit from it.

----------

MEANWHILE in Mount Sabretooth...

guy on TV: "This is Jim Jameson reporting from just outside the city of Itsuka, where the situation continues to deteriorate by the day. More and more fighters have been showing up to help the insurgents who have pretty much seized the city and crippled the local government. Since it began about a week ago, this terrorist activity has remained localized here in Itsuka. So far we haven't heard any reports of any fighting of this magnitude happening anywhere else in Sabretooth Prefecture or in the U.P. As for who these guys are, and why they're fighting, the only clues we have for their motives are the chants of 'Liberty' and 'Revolution'. No one we have interviewed thus far seems to understand the terrorists' reasoning. In related news, the military detachment from Ghon-Ki who came in response to the King's plea for help arrived today. Upon assessing the situation, General Lakshmanan of the Ghon-Ki army told reporters that 'it's apparent that there is a coup d'etat in progress', meaning the government who requested their aid may no longer hold sovereignty of the prefecture. However, he said that since the fighting is localized in the city of Itsuka, he will deploy his troops along the boundary of the city to keep the fighting contained therein, and will stay there until security is re-established. This is certainly welcome news to the worried folks who live around the area, who have expressed concern for their safety if the fighting were to spill out of Itsuka and cover the prefecture. We'll keep watching the situation as it develops, and bring you the latest news as it happens. Reporting from outside the city of Itsuka in Mount Sabretooth Prefecture, I'm Jim Jameson with News 14."

EPISODE FORTY-FIVE: Roasted Grounds

NENGO 327年12月2日 7:29 AM - 29 Days Until Culmination

The next morning, the party awoke as the sun began to appear over the eastern horizon. Given the time constraints, the party had a quick breakfast, then broke off in their pre-determined groups and commenced with the quest to find the pieces of the statue. Each 2-person group was given a specific area of Smaug's property to search.

In an effort to keep the excessive writing to a minimum, Evil Ray has decided that we'll cover one battle from each of the 6 groups, and at the end do a summary of the EXP and levels gained during the quest.

-----

TRITHAL and Xaklafor were assigned to the north-western area of Smaug's land, near the edge of the mountain. In this area were caves, destroyed buildings, and scorched earth below. TRITHAL makes the observation that lava must've flowed over the land within the past few centuries. In one of the caves, the pair encounter a group of 5 Fire Dragonettis .

BATTLE MODE ON

TRITHAL (LV 30; 125/125 HP; 121/121 SP; 9689 EXP)
Xaklafor (LV 61; 234/234 HP; 420/420 SP; 26594 EXP)

The Dragonettis have faster speed than TRITHAL and Xaklafor, so they attack first, with all 5 flying straight towards the pair with claws extended... but thanks to their high evasion the duo duck out of the way before being skewered. Xaklafor lost no HP, but TRITHAL, being of lower level, lost 1/125 HP.

In response, Xaklafor and TRITHAL do a combo attack called WATER SPOUT, where Xaklafor's massive Water Element power combined with TRITHAL's refined Wind Element power created a whirlwind of water columns, which enveloped the Dragonettis and canceled out their Fire Element power, defeating them thoroughly.

BATTLE MODE OFF

TRITHAL GAINS 232 EXP
Xaklafor GAINS 55 EXP

TRITHAL (LV 30; 124/125 HP; 121/121 SP; 9921 EXP)
Xaklafor (LV 61; 234/234 HP; 420/420 SP; 26649 EXP)

After defeating the enemies, they find a shining silver piece of the statue in the cave and collect it. TRITHAL and Xaklafor continue to search their assigned area.

-----

AXEM and Jarsar were assigned to the adjacent area directly to the south of TRITHAL and Xaklafor, along the western wall of the property. In this section of Smaug's property are the remains of what looks like used to be a vast garden overlooking the valleys to the east and south. Now the ground is covered in ash and stone. In one spot in the garden, there appears to be in open fissure, where a column of gray smoke is rising to the sky. AXEM and Jarsar go to investigate. Once there, they are immediately confronted by 3 Brimstone Ogres, who jump out through the fissure.

BATTLE MODE ON

AXEM (LV 27; 107/107 HP; 105/105 SP; 8248 EXP)
Jarsar (LV 42; 146/146 HP; 202/202 SP; 12645 EXP)

Jarsar immediately uses an Earth Element defensive scroll to boost his elemental defense against the Ogres, and since he has the highest speed of the group, takes the first attack. He harnesses his wind power and withdraws his sword, and unleashes SPINNING TOP, in which he spins around like a cyclone with his sword drawn, slashing away at the enemies. Since his Wind elemental powers aren't very effective against the Stone-element enemies, he only manages to cause 13/200 HP damage to each of the Ogres.

AXEM, likewise being faster than the Ogres, takes the next move. With his understanding of the Stone Element, he withdraws a Water Element attack scroll and unleashes TIDAL WAVE, which gets the Ogres quite wet, canceling out their Fire element.

In response, the Ogres surround AXEM and Jarsar, then commence to beating on them with sledgehammers. With their heightened evasion and defense, the pair only lose a few HP each.

Afterward, the ogres are still weakened from AXEM's water magic attack. AXEM advised Jarsar to use an Ice Element scroll and combine it with his wind power. Jarsar does so, unleashing BLIZZARD on the Ogres. This freezes them, causing them to shatter. The Brimstone Ogres are defeated

BATTLE MODE OFF

AXEM GAINS 185 EXP
Jarsar GAINS 103 EXP

AXEM GAINS A LEVEL
LV 27>28; 107>110 HP; 105>107 SP

AXEM (LV 28; 105/110 HP; 107/107 SP; 8433 EXP)
Jarsar (LV 42; 140/146 HP; 194/202 SP; 12748 EXP)

In the fissure, there appears to be a shiny piece of the statue. Trying not to get burned or doused with whatever chemical is spewing from that hole in the ground, Jarsar finds a long pole to fish the piece out of the fissure. They collect it, then continue on.

-----

THRAX and Adeth were given a triangular shaped area to search, sandwiched between the southern boundary of the property and the sections being searched by TRITHAL and Xaklafor; and AXEM and Jarsar. Throughout the morning, Adeth and THRAX were carrying on random conversation... or more precisely, Adeth was rambling on and THRAX was simply acknowledging what he was saying, while wondering what kind of brain damage he received from being encapsulated for 400 years... or maybe he's always been this strange. THRAX's contemplation was disrupted by a group of 3 HELL ZOMBIES who jump out and confront them.

BATTLE MODE ON

THRAX (LV 32; 105/105 HP; 159/159 SP; 11199 EXP)
Adeth (LV 20; 65/65 HP; 30/30 SP; 3569 EXP)

THRAX orders Adeth to stay back in defensive mode, since he would be easily slaughtered by the zombies. While doing this, both THRAX and Adeth miss their turns, and the Zombies move in for the first attack.

The 3 Zombies circle THRAX and Adeth, invoking some kind of fire spell upon them. THRAX, being of equal element, loses no HP; however Adeth, being of lower level and stats, loses 20/65 HP. Adeth immediately uses a Health Potion to recover his lost HP.

THRAX, realizing that his elemental magic would be useless against the enemies, partially transforms to his Draconian form, extending his sharp claws. He then lunges forward and proceeds to slash the shit out of the Zombies, causing each to lose all of their HP.

BATTLE MODE OFF

THRAX GAINS 45 EXP
Adeth GAINS 330 EXP

Adeth GAINS A LEVEL
LV 20>21; HP 65>68; SP 30>32
Adeth LEARNS "HOLY LIGHT"

THRAX (LV 32; 105/105 HP; 159/159 SP; 11244 EXP)
Adeth (LV 21; 68/68 HP; 32/32 SP; 3899 EXP)

Adeth spots a section of the statue protruding from the earth where the Zombies appeared. THRAX collects it, then the two continue on...

-----

Danika and Veiko investigate the north-central section of Smaug's property. As they search the area, Veiko finds himself on the receiving end of Danika's venting about TRITHAL, her baby, and pretty much anything else that's crawled up her ass and died recently. Veiko, although growing weary of the conversation, simply remains quiet and allows Danika her soap box. While searching one of the partially-standing structures, the duo is confronted by 3 HEAT GOLEMS and a dumbass Travelocity employee.

BATTLE MODE ON

Danika (LV 30; 105/105 HP; 100/100 SP; 8747 EXP)
Veiko (LV 35; 120/120 HP; 85/85 SP; 9215 EXP)

Veiko has the fastest speed, so he uses a Water-element scroll on the enemies. The Travelocity dude got wet, and each Golem lost 22/205 HP.

The Golems return the attack, launching fireballs at the pair. Veiko manages to dodge one of them, but Danika was nicked, losing 2/105 HP.

Danika takes the next move, using 14/100 of her SP to envoke "FOREST BARRAGE, where chunks of wood circulated by her Wood energy converge on the Golems, cancelling their Earth element and defeating them.

This leaves the Travelocity employee, who counters by saying "I can't remember my password, even though I set it 5 days ago, and I don't know how to clear the cache from IE, so I just keep getting myself locked out of the system." Danika picks up one of the chunks of wood and hurls it at him, smashing him square in the face and defeating him.

BATTLE MODE OFF

Danika AND Veiko GAIN 84 EXP

Danika (LV 30; 103/105 HP; 86/100 SP; 8831 EXP)
Veiko (LV 35; 120/120 HP; 85/85 SP; 9299 EXP)

Veiko picks up the statue fragment, and the two continue on.

-----

Anri and Vash investigate an area along the east end of the southern boundary of Smaug's property. Since Anri and Vash have absolutely nothing in common, the two of them don't speak to each other very much. What conversation that Vash tries to start doesn't go anywhere with Anri, perhaps because she's mentally distracted by the bullshit in progress between her, Kuta and THRAX. After about 45 minutes of searching, the two are confronted by four 10-foot FIRE ANTS

BATTLE MODE ON

Anri (LV 30; 102/102 HP; 80/102 SP; 10104 EXP)
Vash (LV 32; 106/106 HP; 72/72 SP; 8111 EXP)

Anri has the fastest speed, and the worst mood, so she immediately unleashes BLIZZARD II, which envelops the Fire Ants in ice, wind and snow, canceling their fire element and defeating them, at the cost of 44/72 SP.

BATTLE MODE OFF

Anri AND Vash GAIN 27 EXP

Anri (LV 30; 102/102 HP; 80/102 SP; 10131 EXP)
Vash (LV 32; 106/106 HP; 28/72 SP; 8138 EXP)

At this point, Vash concludes that Anri is waiting to explode at the next unsuspecting victim, and decides to back off trying to strike up a conversation. Anri collects the statue segment, and the duo continue on.

-----

Kuta and Elric search the remaining section of Smaug's property, which is sandwitched between the mountain, the eastern boundary, and Anri and Vash's section. The pair finds what appears to be the remains of a temple. Inside there is a glimmer of silver, like a piece of the statue... surrounded by what appear to be Fire Spirits. Kuta let's out a little chuckle.

Elric: "What's so funny?"

Kuta: "Nothing. It's just, seeing this beings brings back memories of a volcano I once visited on the other side of the sea a long time ago, and..."

Before Kuta could finish what he was saying the Fire Spirits began advancing on the duo.

BATTLE MODE ON

Kuta (LV 32; 101/101 HP; 112/112 SP; 10085 EXP)
Elric (LV 28; 108/108 HP; 255/255 SP; 7676 EXP)

Elric prepares to unleash an energy attack, but Kuta stops him. Kuta mutters something in the Macha language, then suddenly 10 small red crystals appear in the air in front of the Fire Spirits and begin to glow brightly. The ten Fire Spirits get absorbed into the crystals. The crystals then combine into a single gem, which suddenly vanishes and Kuta's eyes flash briefly.

BATTLE MODE OFF

Kuta AND Elric GAIN 301 EXP

Elric GAINS A LEVEL
LV 28>29; HP 108>110; SP 255>257

Kuta (LV 32; 101/101 HP; 112/112 SP; 10386 EXP)
Elric (LV 29; 110/110 HP; 257/257 SP; 7977 EXP)

Elric: "What the hell was that?"

Kuta: "A little trick I picked up a few centuries back. There's no need to concern yourself with it right now."

Elric shrugs, then they go collect the statue piece and continue on.

EPISODE FORTY-FOUR: Mountain Smaug

NENGO 327年12月1日 4:48 PM - 30 Days Until Culmination

The party proceeded northeast from Lockhart Village toward the home of the mysterious dragon named Smaug, whom they believe holds a shortcut to the Gates of Hell. A good six hours pass as they hike along the rough trail circumnavigating Mount Gagizet. It's obvious to the party that not too many travelers take this route.

AXEM: "Obviously not too many travelers come this way. This road is rough!"

TRITHAL: "Good thing we got horse-lizards. Otherwise this would suck!"

Elric: "Most of the lands ahead of us are full of sulfur and brimstone. One would have to be all kinds of eccentric to want to live out here."

THRAX: "Well, we were told that this 'Smaug' character was quite eccentric and 'unstable'. So, I guess it's fitting for him to live out here in such an unwelcoming environment."

----
Stoner Stephen: "This is boring. Where's the action?! I wanna see a battle, damnit!"

Jeremy: "Well, too damn bad! I don't feel like scripting one. Besides, there'll be plenty of time for that later."

Stoner Stephen (in whiny voice): "Ooooooohhhh...! But I wanna see 'em kill something!"

Jeremy: "Deal with it. Now get back to narrating or else!"

Stoner Stephen: "Or else what? You'll fire me?"

Jeremy: "Worse. I won't let you toke on the job anymore."

Stoner Stephen: "....."
-----

The party continues on the worn and totally unused trail for several hours, all the while carrying on idle chatter that I missed because Jeremy and I were having a discussion.

----
Jeremy: "Discussion? You were whining like a little girl! I had to threaten to cut off your 'green' supply to get you to shut up!"

Evil Ray: "Whatever! Who cares?! Just shut up already!"
----------

As they round a turn on the mountain trail, they see, a few miles off, what appears to be the ruins of a small town or settlement or something.

THRAX: "Well, I guess that's the place up ahead"

Before anyone could say anything else, four Fire Salamanders confront them.

----
Stoner Stephen: "Yippee! I get to see something die!"

Evil Ray: "Would you just read the script, already! You keep up this bullshit and we really will cut you off!"
---------

BATTLE MODE ON

TRITHAL (LV 30; 125/125 HP; 121/121 SP; 9600 EXP)
AXEM (LV 27; 107/107 HP; 105/105 SP; 8159 EXP)
THRAX (LV 32; 105/105 HP; 159/159 SP; 11110 EXP)
Danika (LV 30; 105/105 HP; 100/100 SP; 8658 EXP)
Anri (LV 30; 102/102 HP; 102/102 SP; 9752 EXP)
Adeth (LV 19; 62/62 HP; 28/28 SP; 3480 EXP)
Kuta (LV 32; 101/101 HP; 112/112 SP; 9996 EXP)
Elric (LV 28; 108/108 HP; 255/255 SP; 7587 EXP)
Jarsar (LV 42; 146/146 HP; 202/202 SP; 12556 EXP)
Xaklafor (LV 61; 234/234 HP; 420/420 SP; 26242 EXP)
Veiko (LV 35; 120/120 HP; 85/85 SP; 9126 EXP)
Vash (LV 32; 106/106 HP; 72/72 SP; 8022 EXP)

Fire Salamander 1 attempts an attack on THRAX. A couple party members chuckle. No damage to THRAX.

Anri decides to try and end this quickly and unleashes FROST STORM. All Fire Salamanders lose 256/398 HP. Anri Uses 22 SP

Xaklafor uses his signature ability Aquatic Wave. A wall of water similar to a tsunami appears out of nowhere and engulfs the enemies. All Fire Salamanders are destroyed. Xaklafor uses 40 SP

BATTLE MODE OFF

Anri AND Xaklafor GAIN 352 EXP
ALL OTHERS GAIN 89 EXP

Adeth GAINS A LEVEL
Lv 19>20
HP 62>65
SP 28>30

TRITHAL (LV 30 DIVINE WIND; 125/125 HP; 121/121 SP; 9689 EXP)
AXEM (LV 27 STONE PILLAR; 107/107 HP; 105/105 SP; 8248 EXP)
THRAX (LV 32 HELL-FIRE; 105/105 HP; 159/159 SP; 11199 EXP)
Danika (LV 30 FOREST NINJA, CLASS III; 105/105 HP; 100/100 SP; 8747 EXP)
Anri (LV 30 ICE FLAME; 102/102 HP; 80/102 SP; 10104 EXP)
Adeth (LV 20 PALADIN; 62/65 HP; 28/30 SP; 3569 EXP)
Kuta (LV 32 RED CRYSTAL; 101/101 HP; 112/112 SP; 10085 EXP)
Elric (LV 28 LIGHTENING WIZARD; 108/108 HP; 255/255 SP; 7676 EXP)
Jarsar (LV 42 WIND; 146/146 HP; 202/202 SP; 12645 EXP)
Xaklafor (LV 61 AQUATIC WAVE; 194/234 HP; 420/420 SP; 26594 EXP)
Veiko (LV 35 GRYNAK CAPTAIN; 120/120 HP; 85/85 SP; 9215 EXP)
Vash (LV 32 GRYNAK CAPTAIN; 106/106 HP; 72/72 SP; 8111 EXP)

-----
Stoner Stephen: "Aw man! That was over too quick!"

Jeremy: "Hey! You said you wanted a battle and you got one. Deal with it!"
------

The party collected themselves (whatever that means) and continued on the trail for a bit. After a few more minutes of travel, they reach the outskirts of the ruins... that now appear to be the remains of some old castle. The party dismounts, and begins to scope the place out.

The party sticks close together as they walk around the area just inside the entrance of the castle. The grounds of the castle appear to span a large area, with buildings and such scattered all down the side of the mountain. The party members with heightened ESP began to notice a presence moving about erratically. Everyone stayed on elevated alert while they tried to determine who, or what, is darting about in the shadows. As the presence got closer, the party could hear a cryptic voice bouncing off the walls and buildings:

voice: "Visitors have arrived! ...Wanderers... ronin... travelers!..."

The voice went on speaking nonsense. After a few minutes, TRITHAL walked out into an open area, stood there for a few seconds, then with his right hand struck straight down from his side. As he did that, a skinny draconian-looking creature appeared, with TRITHAL's fist rested against his head. The creature falls to the ground unconscious.

Danika: "Is that Smaug?"

Elric: "It could be." (to TRITHAL) "You didn't kill him, did you?"

TRITHAL: "I don't think so..."

TRITHAL nudges the unconscious creature with his foot, who appears lifeless. After about about a minute, the creature's eyes open and he jumps to his feet.

creature: "Ah, found me out, you did! Clever, you are!"

Kuta: "Are you the one called 'Smaug'?"

creature: "What if I am?"

Kuta: "We were informed that you hold an entrance to the Dark Labyrinth on your land that is near the Gates of Hell. We wish to use it."

creature: "Dark Labyrinth?... Gates of Hell...?"

TRIHTAL: "Well, do you have an entrance to the Labyrinth or not?"

creature: "Entrance? Uh... maybe I do, but maybe I don't... Not sure, I am."

Danika (growing frustrated): "Dammit! We're not here to play games! We're on a time limit! If there is an entrance to the labyrinth here, show us!"

creature: "Wait, an entrance there may be. Although, almost 50 years have passed since last it was opened. Don't remember where it is...."

Elric: "Do you remember how it was opened, or who opened it?"

The creature sits down and thinks for a second, then says, "Oh yes... Fifty years ago it was. A dragon wizard opened it. His name? His name.... Remember I cannot."

TRITHAL: "Well forget about who. Do you remember how?"

creature: "How? umm... let me think..."

The party became increasingly frustrated with the creature's forgetfulness. TRITHAL, having the ability to read someone's thoughts, walks up to the creature, stares into the creature's eyes with his eyes glowing blue, and says. "Tell me what you remember. What happened when the entrance to the labyrinth was opened?"

The creature, mesmerized by TRITHAL's hypnotic glowing blue eyes, says in a slow, spaced-out voice, "A spell must be cast... no wait, a mantra it is more like... prayed to a deity statue... that must be assembled in front of the portal."

TRITHAL: "Good. We're getting somewhere now. Ok Smaug, what can you tell us about this deity statue?"

The creature, in a more-coherent voice, says "Scattered about the pieces of the statue are - hidden in the buildings. Find them, you must!"

Kuta: "How many pieces are there?"

creature (counts in head): "Uh, I think 18 pieces there are. Each hidden in the buildings on my land."

AXEM: "Okay then. so all we have to do is search these buildings and find the pieces of this statue then put it together?"

creature: "Yes. Gather the pieces you must, and atop the shrine they must be assembled.... but beware. Monsters there may be, hiding in the buildings. Go individually you must not."

Danika: "So then we'll have to break up into teams. How should we divide up?"

creature: "A recommendation may I make?"

TRITHAL: "Yes?"

creature: "Twelve of you total there are... six humans, five draconians, and... (to THRAX) ...whatever manner of being you are, sir. Very diverse, the monsters here are. Into twos, you should divide yourselves: one human and one draconian to each group. Easier it may be that way."

Kuta: "That makes sense, I guess. So how will we divide up?"

The party spends a few minutes discussing among themselves how they will divide themselves up. The party agrees on this arrangement:

TRITHAL and Xaklafor
AXEM and Jarsar
THRAX and Adeth
Danika and Veiko
Anri and Vash
Kuta and Elric

As the party was deciding how to divide up, Smaug was nice enough to bring six copies of a map of his property. Each group will need to find 3 pieces of the statue, while trying to avoid being ambushed by the creatures hiding out in the buildings and rubble. By the time they had a plan in place, it was already starting to get dark... so the party decides to set up camp for the night and take on the quest the next morning.