EPISODE THIRTY: Mount Death

NENGO 327年11月20日 9:59 AM - 41 Days Until Culmination

(cheesy jingle plays)

Announcer: "SuperCola! After just one can your kidneys fail... but that's okay! If you manage to get 100,000 empty SuperCola cans, we'll give you a new set of kidneys!!"

another announcer in lower voice: "(warning: these new kidneys are just as messed up as yours)
(additional warning: drinking more than 3 cans of SuperCola will KILL YOU!)"

(fade to camera shot of Mount Death; Dragon Trials theme plays)

Myhk (still in super-psyched mode): "Welcome back to the Dragon Trials! Today's competition has been hot so far, and it's about to get even hotter! Our players are about to compete head-to-head as they climb the treacherous Mount Death. Our players will face perilous obstacles and hidden traps as they make their way up. Let's go to M'oh for the rules. M'oh?"

M'oh: "Players will start at the sound of my whistle. I say that alot don't I? Oh well... Each player has an identical side of the mountain to climb and may not cross into another player's path. As they climb, they must each collect 5 Dragon Coins located in random spots on their side of the mountain. There's a flag at each one's location, making them easy to spot. The first player to collect all 5 of their coins and bring them to the top of Mount Death wins!"

Myhk: "Alright. While are players are getting ready, let me remind you that for this event, the points have gone up. First place is worth 500 points, second worth 250, and third worth nothing. Throughout our events today, Trithal has been the front-runner, wining both the Obstacle Course and the Elemental Trials. Axem has been close behind him, and Thrax - the only one of the group who's had actual draconian training - has been trailing behind his human counterparts. But, as always, Mount Death will determine who will leave here as champion with the coveted FireDrake Dragon Crystal. --- Okay, our players are ready. Let's go to M'oh."

M'oh: "On your mark... get set..."

(whistle blows)

Myhk: "And up the mountain they go! As they pass the first obstacle on the mountain, all three are neck-in-neck with Trithal gaining a slight lead. As they grab the first coin and round the next corner, Trithal is slightly ahead followed by Thrax, and Axem is just behind him... Trithal quickens his pace as he grabs his 2nd coin and takes the next turn towards the third. Thrax is keeping pace while Axem seems to have slowed down, caught up in the obstacles... now he has his 2nd coin and makes his way towards the third. Now it looks like Thrax has gained a slight lead on Trithal as they make their way toward the 4th coin. Now we have Thrax in the lead, followed by Trithal and Axem..."

M'oh: "Oohhh.... Damn it, Myhk, your baby is kicking around inside me!"

Myhk: "Not now, M'oh! Okay... Thrax has almost made it to the top followed closely behind by Axem as Trithal -- just stands there! Trithal seems totally distracted now! He's stopped climbing and is looking over his shoulder to the North -- Oh shit! Thrax forgot a coin! He's gonna have to go back down and get it while Axem makes it to the top with all 5 of his coins! He'll come in first as Trithal... just meters away from the top... has stopped altogether! Now he's sitting down on a ledge and smoking from a pipe. Thrax has recovered his missing coin and has now made it to the top. He'll receive 2nd place points as Trithal is still just sitting there! I guess he forfeits this round! Let's go to M'oh for the official results."

M'oh: "Myhk, Thrax came in first and receives 500 points. Axem is in second, and he receives 250 points. Trithal, having not finished the competition, comes in third with no points. Myhk, I hope you're gonna man up and take responsibility for this baby!"

Myhk: "Goddammit M'oh! We'll talk about this later!"

Jeremy: "Watch your language, muthafucka! You're on a kid's show!"

Myhk: "Okay. Our players are on their way down from the top of Mount Death... Trithal staggering around as if he's high off his ass. Let's go back to M'oh for our final leader board. M'oh?

M'oh: "Myhk, Axem wins the competition today with 600 points. Thrax is in second with 250 points, and Trithal, having tanked on Mount Death, is in third place with 200 points."

Myhk: "Our players now at the awards pedestal... Trithal 'The Sensai' Tsutaru receiving the Bronze medal... trying not to fall over as he bends down to have it placed on his neck. Thrax 'The Hell-Fire' __________ receiving his Silver medal, having come in second on Mount Death. And the gold, going to Axem 'The Gigolo" Thorpatrick! You can hear the excitement from the female spectators here in the Neglaford Arena. Axem proudly holds the Dragon Crystal high for the world to see. Let's go and talk to our players!"

Myhk walks over to the pedestal and approaches Axem.

Myhk: "Axem. Your perseverance today won you the competition. How do you feel?"

AXEM: "YEE!!"

Myhk: "That's awesome! Now to Thrax. How do you feel about the competition today?"

THRAX: "This whole competition was rigged! I should have won! You all suck!"

Myhk: "Good job today, Thrax. Now let's talk with Trithal. Trithal, you were strong all day, and then you gave up on Mount Death! You were doing so well. Tell us, what happened up there? Why did you stop before you made it to the top? You could've won this whole thing, but you flushed it down the shitter. Why?"

TRITHAL: (stoned) ".... huh?"

Myhk: "Well said! That's all the time we have for our show today. Join us next time here at Neglaford Arena for The Dragon Trials!"

The Dragon Trials theme plays as the credits scroll. We see THRAX and AXEM high five-ing Myhk and M'oh, and TRITHAL sits down and tries to regain his bearings. The camera pans over the cheering crowd, until the credits stop and the screen fades to black.